I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
