ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You have to summon your inner elephant
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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