we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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