That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
