College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
