If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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