My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
