last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Fuck appropriateness.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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