Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
