Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
