hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
