I puked a lego.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
