When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
