i can't believe i had my finger in that
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
last night I used snow as a chaser
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