Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Do you remember whose house we're in?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
