you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
You are a genius and a whore.
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