therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
