Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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