just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
it's like iHOP with fire
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
