when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
