She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
How external is "for external use only"?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
