so explain again why im purple
no
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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