apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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