I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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