D3 body, D1 cock
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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