ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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