Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
tonight lets celebrate not being married
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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