He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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