they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
