I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
