I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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