You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Randomize
