My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
