Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
