tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
