weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
