The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
