Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
