You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
