He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
