before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
