I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Please, let me fuck your mom
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
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