I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
