I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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