I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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