Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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