I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
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