I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
