he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
