I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Shame is for Republicans.
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