And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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