The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Randomize
